Is it a Fair Comparison?

I met with a woman recently looking to get stronger and improve her endurance. On the surface, those are both simple tasks. Lift some things with various number of reps and give her an on-her-own cardiovascular program.

After going through her injury history, I could tell that there was something more to her goals than she let on. She was diagnosed with a major back injury 7 years ago and has since developed osteoarthritis in the affected area. She used to be an elite performer in dance, and since the diagnoses has gained weight due to inactivity.

I could feel there was more to her goals than just to be strong as heck and run real far. There was something she believed she could be better at by achieving these things. I inquired in what ways she felt limited by her injury, currently.

She told me about when she goes on hikes with her boyfriend. She recounted how easy it was for him. How he could run laps around her. How different they were. I asked,

“Has he been diagnosed with spondylolisthesis?”

No.

“Has he been diagnosed with osteoarthritis?”

No.

“Then why in hell are you comparing yourself to him?”

Her response told me everything I had suspected. She was busy comparing herself to those classified as “healthy”. She related her current ability to her previous self. To this woman, she wanted to get stronger and improve her endurance because she felt like that would help her get back to the way things used to be.

But she was wrong to do that. She is two steps behind everyone else, and she should celebrate her willingness to overcome her condition. By looking at the perfectly “healthy”, all she’s done is create frustration and resentment internally. It has helped her create motivation to seek more help, sure, but I wanted her to start internalizing the goal of training with me.

With this discussion, we agreed that it wasn’t that she wanted to get stronger and run farther, but to improve her quality of life. To bring her back to a level of function she was at previously, irrespective of the situation she’s currently in.

So, I ask you, dear reader. Who do you compare yourself to? Is it a fair comparison?